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You ever had that feeling that when you were somewhere, with someone special, that you just know it's an important moment, and you feel the need to want to stay in that moment forever? That is how I felt the last time I saw my grandmother a few months ago, obviously not knowing at that time, it was to be the last time I was going to see her.

Checking out the 'skinny jeans'.

Showing me my quilt she was working on.

Got her ears pierced at the age of 85.

My hand on the left, hers on the right. The watch was a gift from
me for her 90th birthday.

Visits from 'Oma' in the USA were the best!

Our first vacation after moving to Holland, in Spain 1991.

Of course, you never really know just how much time you have with someone, especially when they are someone of great meaning to you. And after her passing, I was reminded that this is it, this is what I've got, and I've got to make something out of it. I'm done wasting time trying to fit in, or trying to be what someone expects me to be. A little 'momento mori' and plenty of 'carpe diem'. I am who I am, with all my faults and quirks. I am fine with my level of intelligence, my sense of humor, my will to help others, and to do what's right.

My family is small, but great. I consider all my friends my best friends, 'cause that's exactly what they are to me: The Best. It's easy to get swept away with the disappointments in life, and it feels at moments that's all there is to life; surviving. The trick of it all is, finding something that makes it all worth while, and allowing yourself to be you. The fabulous you.


Not having work at the moment tends to throw people off, especially if you've been looking for almost a year like I have. It's become this oddity, like what you do for a living, defines who you are in life. I do nothing, therefore I am nothing? I thought NOT ! I have always seen these 2 things as separate, although who you are may influence what you want to do in life.
Say I loved writing and receiving letters, I could become a post(wo)man. I would then say: "I work as a postman", and not "I AM a postman". A minor detail maybe, but I think it puts things into a different perspective.


It can be quite challenging, finding something that makes you happy. In the end it does come down to 1 thing: you 'have' to be happy with yourself. The mother of all clichés (and I loathe clichés) but aggravatingly true. Setting small goals has been helpful for me. And, maybe even more important: not beating myself up over goals I don't achieve. Maybe they were too high or unrealistic. Remember the fun stuff, start small. Smaller.

Personally, I don't believe in the "Life's too short" saying, 'cause it's not, it's the longest thing you'll ever experience. As far as I know, there are no 'do-overs', no '1 ups' in this game. So if you're gonna do something for a long long long long long time, make it something you like, or even love <3

Spending time with my sister: One of my favorite things to do!

Crocheting a scarf for the lady whose house I clean.

Seeing my all time favorite band: Hurts

Taking pictures; lots of them!

Reminded of my 'awesomeness' :D